


Muggle Camping

by TheEagleQueen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Camping, Everybody Lives, Nonsense, Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 19:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18629890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEagleQueen/pseuds/TheEagleQueen
Summary: Prompt: travel/vacation.Wolfstar and Jily go camping in the Lake District.Nothing of note happens at all!





	Muggle Camping

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in Summer 1982. Peter was discovered as the spy and Voldy was defeated, now everyone gets to live kind of peaceful lives.
> 
> Thank you so much to @jennandblitz for beta reading and fixing my appalling lack of paragraphs!

“Fucks sake, Padfoot!” Remus had just about finished putting up the tent he and Sirius would be sleeping in when the large black dog barrelled into it during his attempt to distract the toddler from his fascination with the gas cooker.

“Fussayy Pa’fooo!” the toddler screeched, shaking the box of matches that his mother had only just put out of his reach a moment ago. 

Lily belatedly clamped her hands over Harry’s ears and scowled. “Remus! As if I haven’t got enough on my plate with this ‘accidental’ magic, my child is now swearing before he’s 2.”

Sirius extricated himself from the pile of fabric and collapsed poles and jumped over to James, transforming into his human form mid-jump. He copied Lily’s action and sent Remus an incredulous look. “Yeah, Moony. Mind your language around Prongs’s delicate ears!”

Remus sighed and looked skywards, as if to beg for patience from whatever deity may reside there.

The two couples had decided to go on a camping holiday to get away from the stresses of the last few years. Sirius and James had been beyond excited to go on what they termed ‘a Muggle holiday’ and as such had insisted that they have no magic to help them. The novelty had lasted all of five minutes, after which Remus had banned Sirius from even touching the tent and Lily had told James in no uncertain terms that he was not to attempt to cook anything at all. He had nearly caused an explosion by playing with the Primus stove and now Harry was overly interested in the matches and Sirius had been given the task of keeping him occupied lest they all survive the war only to be blown up by a two-year-old with an abundance of accidental magic.

When they had first arrived, Sirius had suggested to the Potters that he and Remus could take Harry into the village for the afternoon, which would give Lily and James some much needed alone time. Harry had inherited his father’s talent for Trouble and needed to be watched like a hawk, leaving little time for his parents to enjoy each other’s company.

Sirius watched in amazement as Remus hoisted Harry onto his back and tied the wrap to secure him there. Lily was an expert with the thing and Remus could manage. Sirius and James, however, ended up in one giant knot every time they even attempted it.

Remus smirked at his boyfriend, loving the look of awe on his face. He handed Sirius the bag packed with all of the essentials required for a couple of hours with a child; nappies, wipes, spare clothes, snacks, a drink, and a towel. They waved goodbye to the Potters and started walking to the nearby bus stop to catch the hourly ride into the village.

Sirius was overly excited about traveling on a Muggle bus. He had been on the Knight bus, of course. As far as Muggle transport went, he had been in James and Lily's car a few times and had been assured that Muggle trains were very similar to the Hogwarts Express. His beloved motorbike could hardly be thought of as “Muggle transport”, given its ability to fly. He should probably tell Remus about that little modification, but he didn't want to provoke his boyfriend's (reasonable) anger. He estimated that he was in for a good ten minutes of being yelled at, followed by a half-hour lecture on why charming his bike to fly was a Very Stupid Idea Indeed. He was prepared for the rehashing of old admonishments (“What were you thinking?!” “You could end up in Azkaban and I'd only visit to say “told you so”!” “This is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard.” And his favourite, always said with such a defeated sigh, “Okay, well just don't get caught and Merlin's balls, don't do it again.”)

The small bus bumped along the road, causing Sirius to bounce up and down like an excited puppy, and stopped at the stone shelter. They climbed on, Remus paid the return fare, and Harry squealed with delight as one of his biggest dreams came true - traveling on a real bus. Remus unwrapped Harry and set him down by the window, taking the seat next to him. Sirius took the seat in front and turned to Remus looking confused.

“Where are the beds, Moony?” he asked, “And why is there only one level?” Remus had to remind himself to be patient, and that if he had only been on one bus in his life, he'd probably have the same questions. He sighed. “There are no beds because people only travel on buses for a short time. And there aren't many people who use this route so they only need a few seats. Besides, Muggle buses only have two decks at most otherwise they won't fit in tunnels or under bridges.”

Sirius seemed to accept this explanation (thank Merlin) and spent the rest of the short journey playing peek-a-boo with Harry.

When they arrived at the village, they alighted the bus and Remus wrapped Harry onto his back again. The three of them made their way along the main road and down to the lake where they spent a lovely half hour wandering the shore and entertaining Harry by throwing stones that Sirius had enchanted to skip for much further than any Muggle could skip them. 

Once the toddler got bored and started pulling Remus's hair (“DOWN, Mooony!”), they went back into the village and found a quaint little tea shop that reminded Sirius of Madam Puddifoot's. He grinned, recalling the fawning girls he had taken there on dates before he announced to the common room on a drunk whim that he was Really Fucking Gay and only had eyes for Remus “Sex-on-Legs” Lupin. The werewolf had flushed scarlet but quickly forgot his embarrassment when Sirius made good on his proclamation and snogged his brains out in front of everyone. Peter and James had sensibly decided not to return to the dorm that night.

This tea shop, however, had none of the charmed decorations of its wizarding twin.  
Remus removed Harry from his back and stretched, hearing the vertebrae click as he twisted. A short waitress of around 16 came over to take their order. Earl Grey for Remus, black coffee for Sirius, a fruit scone each, and (to Remus's horror) the largest ice-cream sundae they had for Harry. Sirius spoilt his godson rotten and Harry was always pleased with his treats.

Remus grumbled about how he was breaking his back to carry “his Highness” around yet Sirius got all of the credit. Sirius just winked and told Remus not to be such an old woman. If looks could kill, Sirius would be splayed on the floor now. Come to think of it, he most definitely wouldn't have survived long enough to actually make it to adulthood.

Their order arrived, and Harry immediately got whipped cream on his nose, in his hair, and on Remus's favourite jumper. The werewolf shot his boyfriend a withering glance, then, realising it wasn't worth the effort to say something, grabbed a handful of napkins and wiped his sleeve.

“Come on, Prongslet, let's get you cleaned up and let Uncle Moony have his tea before he gobbles us all up!” Sirius picked Harry up and sat him on the other side of the table, taking a long spoon and scooping ice cream into the child's mouth.

Remus huffed and started doctoring his tea until it was perfect, then spread his scone with cream then jam, something which hurt Sirius's sense of propriety in a way nothing else could. He smirked at his boyfriend and Sirius stuck his tongue out in a very grown up response.

When they had finished, and they had used up an entire packet of napkins to clean Harry, they made their way back to the bus stop, allowing Harry to walk in the hope that he'd be ready for a nap when they got back.

The bus ride went without any hitch, Remus was glad to say. Sirius could be extremely embarrassing around anything Muggle.

Harry was starting to droop as they approached the tents. They could see movement in the Potters’ tent but the area was eerily silent. So much for not using magic, though both Remus and Sirius were grateful for the silencing charms their friends had put up.

“Come on, sprog, come have a nap with Pads,” Sirius said to the toddler, and together they went into the other tent.

Remus sensed Sirius change into Padfoot, which always helped the boy to settle.  
Animagus transformations. Silencing charms.

“Fuck it.” Remus said aloud and sat on one of the camping chairs, summoning his book and lighting a cigarette with a click of his fingers. His friends were absolutely hopeless.


End file.
